


Of the Crow

by bessmertny



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:43:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessmertny/pseuds/bessmertny
Summary: Pining isn't Jesper Fahey strong suit and maybe being blue isn't all that bad.





	

Pining, Jesper thinks, is one of those things that no one should ever be subjected to.

 

Especially when it come to someone that is more than unreachable.

 

And he would know, with the scars in the pit of his heart and in the back of his brain shaped like the name of the deadliest boy in Ketterdam.

 

At first, it was admiration; admiration for Kaz’s strength, for that damned brain of his and, well, there was a little bit of envy for how Kaz was able to hide everything he felt, for the coldness in which he spoke and acted, a firmness that Jesper would never be able to have, too eager to feel everything in every moment and to wear his heart on his sleeves.

And there was a sadness, because even if Kaz was just an inch away from him he was untouchable, so unreachable that Jesper sometimes thought if he knew the Bastard of the Barrell at all.

 

Oh, he knows that it is hopeless, whatever it is that he feels, knows it a little bit more everytime Kaz looks at Inej,  and even if Kaz himself maybe doesn’t even notice it, Jesper does; he tends to notice most things about thim, even if Kaz is, and how he manages it is a mistery to Jesper and it will always be, a black and white portrait of what he wants people to see.

 

He sometimes tries to imagine Kaz’s voice saying something nice, for once,and the sound is just a childish parody even in his head.

 

There are some nights, after a nearly suicidal mission, when they are all at the Crow and he thinks that it’s the time, feels it; he drinks some liquid courage with an awful taste and hopes to not puke his guts on Kaz’s shoes and he will ask, he will ask at least one question- 

_who are your parents?_

_where are they?_

_why the gloves?_

_were you always like this?_

_what made you like this?_

But he never does, he never asks, and without question and all his faith in the dice and fate, he follows Kaz.

That’s what he does, and seeing the firsts sign of Kaz’s scheming face is like being at the table to bet everything he has, but without the satisfaction of ever winning.

 

And even know, he follows Kaz’s orders, making his way to a dying mill to fetch the poor sod Kaz Brekker took interest in.

 

 _Maybe it will be fun_.

 

Jesper enters the mill, and when his eyes connect with a blue, naive gaze that screams _rob me_ and the most beautiful, stupidly innocent face he has ever seen, he can’t help but smirk.


End file.
